Friday, March 11, 2011

Beat.

When I left work today (Thursday), I had officially worked 39.5 hours. Holy moly. We are unbelievably busy. The busiest ever I would guess.  On top of that I'm trying to prepare for my new upcoming position. Due to the  workload of my current position that type of preparation can only be done after my regular working hours.  Thankfully, we are on over time so I'm still "on the clock", though I would gladly do it anyway unpaid as it only serves to help myself be as prepared as possible when the time comes.  That time is April 18th.

I like the chaos and full workload at work.  It makes the day go quickly.  It makes me feel like I'm accomplishing things and it makes me feel like I'm contributing to the greater good of the company and ultimately my well being.  The sacrifice comes after work.  Today, for instance, I had to get gas (Big Storm coming they say), pick up the kids from day care and still make it to the grocery store and back home.  Dragging is an understatement.

I feel badly that on nights like this I am so tired. So mentally spent.  I hurry through homework, I'm crabby while fixing dinner, and I push for an early bed time all so I can get to bed to start it all again.    I feel badly that sometimes my job gets the best parts of me.  But that's where I spend the most of my time, that's where I strive to do my best and in the end it helps the whole family if I do my very best.

I have to believe that it won't always be like this.  I have to have the goal of finding a very happy work/life balance some day.  That will happen.  It will be something that is very much within my grasp.

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